The Grossest Things

Top 10 Grossest Things I Have Experienced Since Jack was Born:

(Disclaimer: Talk of bodily functions abound! Not for those who can't handle words like boobs, nipples, poop, pee, etc.)

10. Seeing my nipple stretched out after Jack latched on the first time.

9. Being soaking wet for about a week when I was engorged because my boobs wouldn't stop!

8. Jack's diaper leaking and him peeing all over me while I was feeding him.

7. Jack spitting up on me - I can't wait until that ends.

6. Jack's diaper leaking and him pooping on my arm, stomach, anywhere - it has happened too many times and always with disposable diapers I might add.

5. Jack pooping on my hand while I was changing his diaper.

4. The return of my period. After over a year of its absence, I forgot just how nasty tampons, pads, etc. really are.

3. Jack spitting up in my hair at 1am and me only rinsing it off before going back to sleep, because who wants to shower at 1am?

2. Jack vomiting -not spitting up, vomiting -on me while I was breastfeeding him (in my bra, on my boob... pretty much all over). I think the only reason this is not number one is because I was more concerned about him than myself.

1. Jack spitting up down my shirt and feeling it trickle down between my boobs. (yes it is that gross, it happened again last night and... ew ew ew!!)

Jack is nearly 6 months old and I'm sure many things will gross me out more than these have. For example, he hasn't taken off his own diaper to play with his poop (a story my parents like to tell about me) or eaten rabbit poop (as Beth's baby did). By then I'll be begging him to spit down my shirt... no, no I won't. It's really gross.

Ew.

Twenty Minutes

Jack’s sleep has been going really well. He has done several 10 hour stretches at night and usually sleeps a total of 12 hours each night. His naps are about an hour and forty-five minutes each with a third shorter one in the evening. They give me time to get things done, relax, or nap if necessary. I’ve been pretty comfortable with how things have been going and have felt much more at ease in general.

Today Jack woke up from his first nap after about an hour and twenty minutes. I thought to myself, Hmm, he woke up about twenty minutes early. Do I let him cry and go back to sleep? It’s only twenty minutes, what difference will that make?

It turns out twenty minutes makes a BIG difference.

My sweet baby boy was nowhere to be found.

His laughs became cries.

His coos became grunts.

His smiles became vacant stares.

And his mommy became irritable.

For the short time Jack was able to stay awake, I had to constantly keep him entertained. He couldn’t sit or lie down on his own for more than 5 minutes before whining to be held.

Thankfully Tim bailed me out after work and I was able to leave. I wandered around Target (my happy place) for about an hour, picking up some yummy Oregon Chai for tonight. When I got home Jack was sound asleep, Tim made dinner, and I put on my sweats and ate brownies.

Let’s hope tomorrow’s better…

Starting Solids

A couple of weeks ago we started preparing to feed Jack solids. I think there should be a solids starter kit with all of the necessities. Bowls, spoons, bibs, booster seat that will also support those babies in the "supported sitter" stage, recipe books, and possibly even a food processor of some sort.

Needless to say, when everything was together, I was really excited to start feeding him. I was surprised to find that those first bites of rice cereals was more like feeding him breast milk on a spoon and started trying to thicken it up a bit. The feedings were going really well a couple of days ago. I couldn't get the spoon to Jack's mouth fast enough for him!Yesterday and today, however, Jack has rejected the solid food. He won't open his mouth one bit and today he wouldn't even make eye contact! Is that normal? Maybe it's because I used a stiffer, water-proof bib instead of the cotton one in the pic above. Maybe I made the cereal too thick. I don't know. I'm not concerned because he still is fairly young. I just don't know if I should keep trying or perhaps give it a few days and then try again. Any suggestions?

Looks CAN Be Deceiving

This is a picture I hesitated posting here and on Facebook. While it was a wonderful moment during Jack's dedication, all I see is that I must be five months pregnant again. Because of all of the encouraging comments from all of you on a previous post, I have felt much better about my weight and the rate at which I am losing it. After seeing this picture I was convinced that I had not made any progress and I was discouraged

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment for birth control. I was dreading stepping on the scale. I did not want to see 159 pounds again. When 151.7 popped up I bent over to make sure the number was not 157.

I lost 7 pounds in 3 months! Yay!!

I can do this. And so can you. :)

Highs and Lows

Today is a day when I need to focus on the positive because I feel like crap. I don't know why I'm feeling so negative, but I've been snapping at Tim, complaining about the heat, and been in a general bad mood all afternoon. Perhaps it's because feeding Jack his cereal didn't go as well as I hoped. Maybe it's because it's hot and I hate hot weather. Whatever the case, I need to snap out of it. If I stay here I'm gonna reach for another cookie and we all know where that leads...

Today's Low: The Heat. I need some more light skirts that fit because I can't wear this one every day.

Today's High: The thunderstorm I hear rolling in. Love it. Not only will things cool off, but the sound of thunder and rain relaxes me.

What a Weekend!

The past three or four days have been packed with activity between my graduation rehearsal, barbecue, and ceremony (finally!) and Jack's Dedication. My parents flew in for all of these events. They walked out the door thirty minutes ago to catch their plane back home. I had to put Jack down for a nap right after they left and I instantly felt lonely! It was wonderful to have them here and I'm excited to be flying out to visit them in less than a month for my sister's high school graduation. That'll be another crazy adventure - flying alone with Jack. Oh my goodness...

While it was amazing to walk across the stage, see my friends, and experience such pride in the hard work we all accomplished receiving our degrees, the highlight of my weekend was definitely Jack. I don't know how to describe how it felt knowing that my son was at my graduation. Sure, my mom had him outside the sanctuary for most of the ceremony and he had no idea what was going on, but they were the first people I saw when I exited that room. His smile lifted my spirits higher than they already were. He thought my cap was pretty silly (and I have to agree with him).

After a morning of pomp and circumstance, followed by much social activity we were all pooped! While I had wanted to go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner, come dinner time I did not want to leave the house. So, we put on our sweats and got Old Chicago pizza along with The Big Cookie for desert.

On Sunday we went to the park where Jack experienced cold water from the creek for the first time. His giggles on the blanket had us all captivated.

Oh! I also need to brag that on Sunday Jack signed for the first time! I have been signing "eat" and "mommy" to him for months. Yesterday he copied me! Sure he doesn't exactly know what he's doing, but who cares! He said mommy!

And on Sunday night at church Tim and I dedicated Jack to the Lord. That was both wonderful and difficult. While it is my deepest desire to trust Jack to Jesus, it is a battle to trust someone else to care for my son. That is a struggle I have with Tim. I think my way is the best way and I can be over critical of how Tim takes care of Jack. So can I really trust a God I cannot see to care for him? Can I really surrender Jack to God's will? I need His strength every day.

But it is this God to whom I am thankful. I am thankful for my family who loves and supports me. I am thankful for a husband who is proud of who I am. I am thankful for a son who brings joy into my life and who with only a smile can turn his cranky mommy into a happy morning person at 7am. I am thankful for a comfortable place to live while money is a struggle and for His daily provision. Most of all, I am thankful for His amazing love and that He sacrificed Himself so that we could have Life!

Lord, please bring Jack to know You as we know You. Please love Him and care for him. Use us as instruments of grace and love. Help us teach Jack about love, justice, grace, and peace. Most of all, help us teach him about You! Amen and amen.

spit-n-shit

I'm tired of spit up. And I'm tired of poo.

For a while I accepted it. I learned to not change my clothes every time a little spit up missed the burp cloth. But have you smelled curdled milk? Have you worn it? Not pleasant.

I have been anticipating Jack spitting up in my hair and on Tuesday at 1:00am he did. Yuck. I didn't want to take a shower at one in the morning, so I rinsed it off, pulled it in a pony tail, tried not to think about it and went back to bed.

Last night, Jack had two blowouts (for those of you who don't know, a blowout is when the poo escapes the diaper, leaks through the clothes, and at times reaches the most obscure places of the body). Both times I got sticky grossness on my arm when I picked him up.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that Jack can’t help it. His poor little body isn’t mature enough to keep his food down or to consistently hold the poo in overnight. I'm just searching for a solution to the poop problem. Our cloth diapers contain the poo inside the diaper, but don’t absorb a night’s worth of urine. I think tonight we’ll put a disposable diaper on him and a cloth liner over the disposable. Maybe that’ll work. No more poopy clothes! What a glorious thought.

It’s not all bad. Maybe you’ll find this video as entertaining as we do.

Happy Belated Mother's Day to All the Hard Working Moms!

Click on picture to see full comic

I've got him!

I'm not sure if all parents do this or not, but Tim and I often wake up looking for Jack in our bed. Now this would make sense if Jack slept in bed with us, but he rarely has (maybe twice). Tim started doing this first. I was feeding Jack at about 2am and my mom went to get something in my room. She came back laughing that Tim was groping around in the dark looking for Jack. Then I started doing it almost every night.

One time was especially hilarious. I woke up believing that I was breastfeeding Jack only to find myself holding my boob. I panicked and in my search for Jack I woke up Tim.

He said to me, "I have him right here."

"Where?"

"Right here!"

I followed his arm to where he was indicating only to find an empty hand cupping his pillow.

"He's not there!!" After turning on the light we both realized that my mom had Jack with her in the guest room.

We've also had problems because of the stuffed gorilla I sleep with (yes, I sleep with a stuffed animal - deal with it). One night Tim woke up and tried to see if "Jack" was breathing. Another time I was convinced there was a blanket smothering "Jack's" head.

Tim seems to have outgrown this phase, but I can't seem to let it go. I still wake up holding my boobs and last night, while hanging onto the gorilla, I told Tim "I've got him."

Thankfully Jack is safe in his own crib for all of these escapades.

We're so weird...

Ferber is Stressing Me Out

It has begun. On Monday night Tim and I started "Ferberizing" Jack. I have been mostly against this form of sleep training because it seems so cruel, but I feel it has to be done. Not only am I once again dependent on caffeine, but I'm also depressed. There, I said it. In the past when I've had trouble sleeping I ended up depressed. Before Jack was born I was concerned this would happen and unfortunately it has. I can finally admit it without feeling ashamed. That's just how my body works. But I don't have to sit in it, I can do something about it. The first thing to do is get more sleep and in order to that - we have to let Jack cry a little.

We've only done it three nights. Last night was a miracle. I must have caught Jack at just the right time, because he didn't cry at all. When he woke up at 11:40 I fed him (based on the advice from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child), but I don't think I really needed to. He then slept from 12:00-7:40. It was amazing! I don't know the last time I slept more than 7 hours in a row.

Tonight is a different story. I just got done listening to fifteen minutes of wailing. Cries that cause a physical reaction in my body. My heart feels like it's been torn out, thrown on the ground, and broken into a bazillion pieces. Someone has punched me in the stomach causing my knees to go weak and my shoulders will not relax. I'm gonna need an awesome massage after this. I keep expecting Child Protective Services to show up. I don't think our Mexican neighbors would let their babies cry like that. They haven't as far as I can tell.

I honestly don't know how Ferber came up with this method. What mom in her right mind would voluntarily let her baby cry? I mean, I'm doing it, but it goes against every instinct in my body (and I'm not sure I am in my right mind).

I'll be really thankful when this is over and we can all get some sleep - not just Tim (just kidding babe... sort of). For now I am coping with my good friends Ben, Jerry and their Chubby Hubby.

How Big is Jack? So Big!

Tim hates it when I pull out "What to Expect the First Year" and start reading about all of the things Jack should, probably, possibly, and may even be able to do. The other day I read that a five month old baby should be able to "on stomach, raise chest, supported by arms." Jack has not done this yet - at least not well. I expressed concern and Tim took the book away from me with a scowl.

It is way too easy to start comparing Jack with other babies. Can he sit up? Is he sleeping through the night? Does he roll over? Truthfully, I hate it when people ask me if he's sleeping through the night. I say "no" feeling as though I have done something wrong, but I know in my heart that he's hungry when he wakes up. And it is silly to be concerned about what Jack's not doing when there is so much that he is.

Jack is constantly observing the world, as a baby should. His incessant desire to know what is happening behind him causes his body to turn so that I'm certain he'll roll over any day now. I just don't want it to happen while he's on the changing table. For some reason the upper left corner of that table is just fascinating to him. I need to more carefully implement the "one hand on the baby" rule.

One of my favorite things Jack is doing exploring all of the squeals, laughs, grunts, and yells his little vocal chords can make. I am having a hard time focusing on writing this post because of all of the commotion coming from the floor beside me.

While Jack cannot quite raise his chest off of the floor with his arms, he is working on sitting and I'm proud of how strong he is. Isn't that silly to be proud of something like that? But I am. It is so exciting to see him grow and develop.

And at the same time I'm a little sad, because pretty soon my baby will be a toddler, then a boy, a teenager, and a man. Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but I will miss my baby cuddling in my arms and smiling at me for no reason. So I will continue to treasure every moment with my baby Jack and be thankful for his little, precious, ever developing life.

I hope you enjoy this video of him sitting! Sounds boring I'm sure, but I can't get enough!!