Monday, February 8, 2010

back off people!

Can I vent? Ok, I will...

I am so tired of people asking me if Jack is walking. I am also tired of people asking me if Jack is crawling. I am even more tired of people telling me, "it's ok, he will."

Yeah, I know.

The fact that Jack isn't very mobile doesn't usually bother me. He's not getting into things. He's content. We're all happy.

My sister didn't walk until she was 18 months. I didn't walk until I was 15 months. My dad didn't talk until he was 3 years! We are all a little slow in my family and we are all geniuses.


I know everyone is trying to rejoice in Jack when they ask these questions. They want to be happy for him growing up. And when he doesn't meet their expectations, they try to encourage me that he's ok. I know he's ok. He's so smart! He signs "please, more, bye-bye, light, all done" and sometimes "puppy." He answers yes and no questions - well, at least when the answer is "yes." His favorite word is "Woah!" and he's the cutest kid in the world!

I am just beginning to see how some moms (and dads) get their sense of self-worth from their children. I have never felt that way until Jack didn't crawl when expected and everyone started looking at me with pity. And now I feel responsible for making him crawl as though it's my fault that he's not. I can see how that might lead to me feeling like I'm responsible for him getting good grades or excelling in sports or music or whatever.

I do not want to be that mom.

I am not going to be that mom.

So, in case you're wondering, no, Jack is not walking. And, no, he is not crawling.

And I am proud of him.


  1. My friend Jori's son didn't talk until he was almost 2 and he went straight to full sentences. Everyone is different and from the videos you've put up Jack looks happy, healthy and totally fine. You know how to tell if you're a good mom? having a happy baby and you've excelled.

  2. I know what you mean! Nope, my kid isn't rolling over yet. No, he's still in his infant car seat. Blahblah!

    I'm curious about the signing though - when did you start? Were you super consistent?

    I want to sign with my baby but forget more often than not.

  3. Lydia was a little late on the crawling, so I can totally sympathize. At her 9-month appointment, our pediatrician asked if she was crawling, and when I said no, she said, "We really just want to see her walking by 15 months," and then she said the best thing of all: "Crawling doesn't mean anything." Somehow, hearing it that way made a big difference to me.

    I also found that responding to people by saying, "No, she's just not interested" disarmed them. It became my token response. I happen to believe it's true--that babies move/verbalize/play/etc. when something becomes interesting to them and is on their radar, and that's all about personality.

    I feel you!

  4. Meara, thanks for your encouragement! It really means a lot.

    K, Jack didn't roll over until he was 8 months old. That's also when he started sitting by himself too. Oh! And then it took another 3 or 4 months for him to roll from his back to his stomach. He hated his stomach.

    Yeah Laurie, I so appreciated when Jack's dr. said at his 12 month appointment that everything else is on track and that by 15 months he would be crawling - and he was more than ok with that! Such a relief. It still doesn't shut up everybody else. :)

    Funny thing... I wrote this post last night and today Jack will not sit still. He's not crawling (although he got on his hands and knees and stayed there for the first time today), but he gets where he wants to go by reaching, rolling and squirming. I am realizing so many things that need to be elevated and made toddler safe around our apartment. And today made me grateful that Jack hasn't moved much until now. It's hard to keep him from pulling books on top of himself while doing everything else I need to do! He'll be crawling soon... I can feel it. (soon is always such a relative term... we'll see)

  5. K - I just realized I didn't respond to your question about signing. I started signing to Jack when he was really really little. Like 5 months old. I was not very consistent. When he was 10 or 11 months I started signing "more" and "eat" a lot. He picked up on "more" just after his first birthday. Around that time he started mimicking everything and has picked up on a lot of signs as well as "so big!" It's fun.

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