Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Grossest Things

Top 10 Grossest Things I Have Experienced Since Jack was Born:

(Disclaimer: Talk of bodily functions abound! Not for those who can't handle words like boobs, nipples, poop, pee, etc.)

10. Seeing my nipple stretched out after Jack latched on the first time.

9. Being soaking wet for about a week when I was engorged because my boobs wouldn't stop!

8. Jack's diaper leaking and him peeing all over me while I was feeding him.

7. Jack spitting up on me - I can't wait until that ends.

6. Jack's diaper leaking and him pooping on my arm, stomach, anywhere - it has happened too many times and always with disposable diapers I might add.

5. Jack pooping on my hand while I was changing his diaper.

4. The return of my period. After over a year of its absence, I forgot just how nasty tampons, pads, etc. really are.

3. Jack spitting up in my hair at 1am and me only rinsing it off before going back to sleep, because who wants to shower at 1am?

2. Jack vomiting -not spitting up, vomiting -on me while I was breastfeeding him (in my bra, on my boob... pretty much all over). I think the only reason this is not number one is because I was more concerned about him than myself.

1. Jack spitting up down my shirt and feeling it trickle down between my boobs. (yes it is that gross, it happened again last night and... ew ew ew!!)

Jack is nearly 6 months old and I'm sure many things will gross me out more than these have. For example, he hasn't taken off his own diaper to play with his poop (a story my parents like to tell about me) or eaten rabbit poop (as Beth's baby did). By then I'll be begging him to spit down my shirt... no, no I won't. It's really gross.



  1. you are hilarious, leah. i hope some of the nastiness subsides soon. :)

  2. hehe. thanks for the good birth control message.