Monday, February 8, 2010

back off people!

Can I vent? Ok, I will...

I am so tired of people asking me if Jack is walking. I am also tired of people asking me if Jack is crawling. I am even more tired of people telling me, "it's ok, he will."

Yeah, I know.

The fact that Jack isn't very mobile doesn't usually bother me. He's not getting into things. He's content. We're all happy.

My sister didn't walk until she was 18 months. I didn't walk until I was 15 months. My dad didn't talk until he was 3 years! We are all a little slow in my family and we are all geniuses.


I know everyone is trying to rejoice in Jack when they ask these questions. They want to be happy for him growing up. And when he doesn't meet their expectations, they try to encourage me that he's ok. I know he's ok. He's so smart! He signs "please, more, bye-bye, light, all done" and sometimes "puppy." He answers yes and no questions - well, at least when the answer is "yes." His favorite word is "Woah!" and he's the cutest kid in the world!

I am just beginning to see how some moms (and dads) get their sense of self-worth from their children. I have never felt that way until Jack didn't crawl when expected and everyone started looking at me with pity. And now I feel responsible for making him crawl as though it's my fault that he's not. I can see how that might lead to me feeling like I'm responsible for him getting good grades or excelling in sports or music or whatever.

I do not want to be that mom.

I am not going to be that mom.

So, in case you're wondering, no, Jack is not walking. And, no, he is not crawling.

And I am proud of him.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Self-Knowledge & Self-Care

Do you ever feel like you’re still figuring yourself out? I am always surprised when I have to relearn fast facts about me. For example, I’m an introvert. I love people. I love being with people and talking to people, but people also wear me out.

Today I hosted the mom’s group from my church. It was great to have everyone over – even though Jack was obsessively clingy, but that’s a different issue altogether. I enjoyed spending time with the other moms. When they left I thought I would put Jack down for his nap, eat a quick lunch, and get right to work.

But I was drained.

I needed time to decompress. I needed to do something that would help me relax before I could get to work, so I looked at my comics. Here are some of my recent favs: (note: if you click on them they will show up bigger on another screen)

(I really relate to Baby Blues. Have I said that? Cause I do…)

Anyway, by the time I had laughed a little and relaxed, I had fifteen minutes to prepare for Sunday before Jack woke up.

I just wonder when I will catch on to me. I need to make my plans not just around Jack’s schedule, but around my own. I need to acknowledge my needs and prepare for them like I prepare for Jack’s naps. It’s complicated caring for a baby. I hope I can learn to care for myself too otherwise I don’t know how I would survive with another one.

Which reminds me of another comic…