My Own Pace

I have begun to wonder when will be the next time Tim and I try to get pregnant again. Well, last time we didn't exactly try... but we didn't try to not try. Make sense? ;)

Anyways, there are many factors to consider.
1) Tim will be in school for at least another year.
2) Jack isn't crawling or walking yet and I want to have a mobile child when I'm pregnant.

3) I really don't want more than one child under the age of 2... or even 2 1/2 for that matter.

4) The thought of the first three months of both pregnancy and after birth make me squeemish.

On the other hand

1) More than once I have seen a newborn and thought, "Aw... I want one... I think?"

2) ...

Ok, I guess that's it. I have no urgency for trying again at this time. But the thoughts have begun to cross my mind and they do surprise me. Not too long ago any such thoughts made me want to run far far away. I've heard that by 15 months you forget all of the bad and long for the good. At nearly 14 months I'm beginning to see what they mean.

Yikes!

Whatever the case, I think it is safe to say I will take Wanda's advice:

When do YOU shower?

Today Jack and I got up at 8:30 am (I know, right? Wonderful!) and sat around watching Sesame Street until we went to the mall for some exercise. Ok, I admit mall walking is hardly an intense workout, but I need to do something and it is the only thing I have been able to do with Jack and even then he interrupts it.

We did stop to watch the puppies at the pet store. Too cute!

Anyways, Jack fell asleep on the way home. I put him to bed, grabbed some food for myself, took a few minutes to relax and was about to go shower when Jack woke up - an hour before I expected him to!

So, no shower for me yet. Not that I'm disgustingly sweaty or anything, but I do feel a bit gross. I am not sure if Jack will take another nap today or if I will have to wait until he goes to bed for the night - which might be 8pm after sleeping in - before I can feel clean again.

And I'm wondering, when do all of you moms shower?

Do you wake up extra early before your kid(s) wake up? Do you take one at night? Do you do it while your kiddos are awake? I just don't know what to do today except sit around feeling a tad disgusting.

Alright, not the most inspiring post today, I know. Just wondering if anyone smells like me... ;)

Children and Chocolate

In the last year, as my love for Jack has deepened, I have also grown in compassion for other children. While poverty made me sad before, it now breaks my heart. The suffering millions are experiencing in Haiti right now is overwhelming, but the pain I feel for the parents who lost their children and for children who lost their parent(s) breaks me.

This past year I have also become more and more aware of the reality of slavery in this world. Children are kidnapped and forced into labor, military, and, most disgusting of all, sex slavery all around the world. It is estimated that there are more than twenty seven million people enslaved today - more than any other point in history. When I start reading the facts on websites like www.notforsalecampaign.org and www.iempathize.org I am ready to vomit.

And so often I have wondered, what can I do?!

Recently it has come to my attention that both coffee and chocolate are largely produced by slaves from the Ivory Coast. The details of the child slavery as written in this article are shocking. Legislation has been passed and many chocolate companies, such as Hershey and Mars, are working to end that, but I suspect this will take a very very long time. The article I linked to above stated that there are many chocolate companies whose cocoa is not produced by slave labor including Green and Black's which I know Target sells (their website has a coupon for their Peanut Bar - sounds delicious!).

Beyond the problem of slave labor is the also serious injustice of sweatshops and "unfair trade" (is that a thing? the opposite of fair trade, that's what I'm trying to say). Cheap labor in other countries results in dire poverty for the masses. Poverty like that in Port au Prince. Every day I am becoming more and more aware that a low price for me comes at a cost to someone. I don't know enough about fair trade right now, but it is something I want to learn about and invest in. Does that mean no more shopping at Target for a good deal? I don't know right now, but I am seeking answers.

The truth is that so much of the stuff I feel I have to have, I don't. This consumeristic mentallity I am wrapped up in (more, newer, bigger, better - I want it!) not only distracts me from the One I am truly yearning for, but it hurts so many people who cary His Image.

One thing I do know, I can stop supporting slavery by buying different chocolate. It feels very small to change my chocolate eating habits, but for the sake of the children on the Ivory Coast - and as a stance against slavery everywhere - I will.

God help us.

Wordless Wednesday

The Not So Toothless Grin

That's right, Jack has four teeth! Two on top, two on bottom. Up until recently you still couldn't see the teeth when he smiled, but those pearly whites are becoming more visible every day. I knew the day would come when my blog name would no longer be relevant, but I'm not changing it!

I have been amazed at the amount of time it takes for one tooth to come in. Some of my friends' babies get teeth one after another. Jack's teeth stay under the gums for weeks at a time causing swelling and one fussy baby! Every time a new tooth pops out I feel like I just got my baby back.

My favorite thing about the teeth is not just his adorable smile, but the fact that now he can eat table foods! Most of the time he eats whatever we eat and it is so cute to see him nibble on a Cheerio or shove an entire pancake in his mouth. Tonight we had spaghetti. (Can you see the teeth?)

Needless to say, Jack went straight from the table to the tub where he proceeded to splash and soak me. Then, when I wash washing his hair, he grabbed my arm and bit me.

Yes, I have a biter.

I never thought that would happen! My sweet little boy bites? Jack has also bit Tim while Tim was cutting his nails and me on other occassions. And he bites hard! I'm not sure what to do about this except say "no." But that seems to be really ineffective. Has anyone else had to deal with this? I'm just glad he's not known at a day care as "the kid who bites other babies." Nope, he's just the kid who bites me. :)

Playing House

Going home for Christmas was great. We relaxed, spent time with family, and everyone else took care of Jack! This was probably the best vacation we have had since Jack was born simply because he is so much more independent and I am no longer nursing him. I mean we were able to give him a bottle in the car on the drive to Wisconsin! No 45 minute stops for feedings. And he can feed himself with finger food and plays with toys... it's great. Oh and he loves people so he enjoyed every single person who picked him up.

And I got a break.

You know, it's funny, though I've been a mom for a year, I still feel like I'm "playing house." Whenever I get a break from caring for Jack, especially when my mom is here and basically takes over (which is always such a relief), I feel like this is how it should be. She's the real mom, I have just been playing make believe.

Last night Jack woke up screaming and I picked him up to comfort him. As I rocked him, I looked at that sleeping baby and thought "I feel like such a kid and here I am... a mom!" I have been referring to myself as "Mommy" since December 4th, 2008 and that seemed natural, but now Jack is calling for me saying "Ma ma ma" and it is so bizarre! I don't feel like a mom. Most of the time I still feel like a teenager trying to figure out life!

It astounds me that Jack loves me the way I love my mom. I am the one turns to for comfort. I am the one he gives sloppy kisses to. I am the one he cuddles with every night.

On another note, it is so much fun to see Jack adore Tim, his "Da da." Whenever Tim walks into the room Jack's little face lights up and he practically lunges out of my arms squealing with delight. They have a special bond and Tim is such a natural dad.

Though at times this all feels unnatural, I love my family. Jack is such a wonderful blessing and Tim such a loving dad and husband, I thank God they are part of my life.

So I will keep on playing house. Maybe some day I will feel like a natural mom.