Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Ferber is Stressing Me Out

It has begun. On Monday night Tim and I started "Ferberizing" Jack. I have been mostly against this form of sleep training because it seems so cruel, but I feel it has to be done. Not only am I once again dependent on caffeine, but I'm also depressed. There, I said it. In the past when I've had trouble sleeping I ended up depressed. Before Jack was born I was concerned this would happen and unfortunately it has. I can finally admit it without feeling ashamed. That's just how my body works. But I don't have to sit in it, I can do something about it. The first thing to do is get more sleep and in order to that - we have to let Jack cry a little.

We've only done it three nights. Last night was a miracle. I must have caught Jack at just the right time, because he didn't cry at all. When he woke up at 11:40 I fed him (based on the advice from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child), but I don't think I really needed to. He then slept from 12:00-7:40. It was amazing! I don't know the last time I slept more than 7 hours in a row.

Tonight is a different story. I just got done listening to fifteen minutes of wailing. Cries that cause a physical reaction in my body. My heart feels like it's been torn out, thrown on the ground, and broken into a bazillion pieces. Someone has punched me in the stomach causing my knees to go weak and my shoulders will not relax. I'm gonna need an awesome massage after this. I keep expecting Child Protective Services to show up. I don't think our Mexican neighbors would let their babies cry like that. They haven't as far as I can tell.

I honestly don't know how Ferber came up with this method. What mom in her right mind would voluntarily let her baby cry? I mean, I'm doing it, but it goes against every instinct in my body (and I'm not sure I am in my right mind).

I'll be really thankful when this is over and we can all get some sleep - not just Tim (just kidding babe... sort of). For now I am coping with my good friends Ben, Jerry and their Chubby Hubby.


  1. stick it out. I promise that it gets easier. I understand your pain. The first night that we let Caed cry, both Austin and I teared up. It is a horrible sound. But eventually you start to figure out which cries are real and which ones are just them trying to fall asleep. I am convinced now that sometimes babies need to cry a little just to settle down. You are not a bad parent for doing this! You are right, you need your sleep, and you have to do something about it! And Jack has to learn how to fall asleep on his own eventually. Some babies are just harder to teach then others. I know this, b/c Caed is one of the harder ones! :-)

  2. I agree with Beth... I have let both Silas and Maggie cry and I do not regret it and hey, they both still love me!!! You will feel so much better once he starts to sleep consistently (and I'll be honest, you might need to "Ferberize" him again and again whenever something comes up) but it is so freeing to be able to lay your child down and walk away and know that after a little fussing they will fall gently to sleep. I am mean and feel depressed when I don't get enough sleep too, so I understand. We are designed to need sleep and this will be really good in the long run.